- Open Minded Events has a few house rules:
don’t arrive before the prescribed time
smoke tobacco products only in the kitchen area
use condoms on insertive toys
always use a condom when requested to do so, and don't pull one off in the middle of the act
don’t hang out in the apartment hallways
look and act discreet when entering the building
don't bring or use any cameras or videos
don't bring or use any illegal drugs
- arrive clean. you should be freshly showered, and cleaned out, if planning on any ass play. the only exception to this would be if you are going to a specific raunch-themed event, like a party focusing on scents or sweat.
- don't arrive drunk or drugged. and don’t become drunk or drugged at the event.
- please be respectful of my time right before an event starts. i am often swamped with setting up. don't email or call an hour or two before to ask if the party is still on, or to find out who is coming. if you are unable to come for some reason, contact me through the most likely way possible (email, phone) to let me know.
- you are asked to arrive within a certain timeframe. please do so. this is different than a “regular” social gathering, where it’s often cool to arrive late.
- at the outside security entry system to the building, buzz up and say something like, “hey, it’s Chris.” be general; no need to say “i’m here for the party” or anything like that.
- at the door to my apartment, be discreet. when it's opened, just say hi and come in - please don't start talking about the party or sharing a sexy screen name or other stuff while you're still in the hallway. my neighbors can hear through their doors; discretion is appreciated.
- as soon as you're inside my apartment and the door is closed behind you, you’ll need to give your email address. keep things smooth and be ready to offer it. don’t just say, “hi, i’m Johnny” - this sort of info is not enough to identify you. plus, you as Johnny in clothes may look very different from the Johnny naked pics you sent to get cleared - and that could be awkward.
- make your donation at that moment too, as you are getting checked in. a generous donation is really appreciated. please remember that without a good amount of time and effort, these sort of events can not take place.
- think about the guy letting you in. for the moment, he is busy watching the door, and it is inappropriate to make moves on him. if you know you can play with him later, it’s ok to flirt, but don’t expect much action from him while he’s handling the door.
- refrain from expectations. when you come into a room of naked people, you'll see some you would like to play with, and some you would not. realistically, there will always be someone in a group that you do NOT want to play with. your role as a sex participant should be to focus on what you like, minimize what you don't like, and through it all, BE COOL about it.
- if you don't initially see what you like, you should pull yourself together. stay in the room, and just hang out. give yourself time to chill a little, and take in the scene. a mature sex participant knows that the first twenty minutes of entering a room is nothing like the next twenty minutes, or the next twenty minutes after that. sex is taking place around you! naturally, things like atmosphere and mood change quickly in this arena.
what is especially not good is to leave shortly after entering. it not only makes you seem shallow, but it also leaves a terrible taste in literally everyone's mouth who is left behind. imagine the sense of rejection that is felt by everyone remaining. it doesn't matter how hot they are, or how hot - or not - you are... when someone enters a participatory sex play scene and leaves shortly thereafter, the remaining people feel like shit. because, as we all know, if you were witnessing The Hottest Sex You've Ever Seen, you definitely wouldn't be departing so soon.
“but i didn’t want to be there!” you might think.
still... why should your manners go out the window, just because it’s a sex party? a polite person wouldn’t just pick up and leave, immediately upon entering a “regular” social party. if nothing else, it’s about being respectful. so leaving quickly leaves a mark on you: everyone else can see that for you, this party is only about YOU, and what YOU want. once a host realizes this, you stand little chance of being invited back.
- in any sort of sex group play - whether it's a threesome, or small group, or whatever... you should consider what i call the “Twenty Minute Rule.” this basically means that you don’t want to monopolize someone for the whole party. it’s as inappropriate as if you went to a cocktail reception for two hours, and talked with one person the whole time. if you’re grooving on another person at an Open Minded Event, you should definitely enjoy them - but after a period of time, it may be better to exchange contact information for the future.
- be aware that at a sex party, asking someone out on a date can result in a very awkward situation. many men who go to Open Minded Events are not looking to date or find a relationship. certainly, many guys at sex parties enjoy casual sex, group sex, or both, and may not be interested in anything different.
- if you do decide you'd like to see someone outside of a party, make that move yourself. do not contact your host after an event, requesting another partygoer's information, or requesting that your host forward your info on to the other guy.
- when a scene is taking place:
if it’s a dom/sub thing, or some form of bdsm play, or some role play, you should not interrupt, and although it might be ok to witness, you should refrain from being loud.
if it’s people fooling around, and you feel you can join in, see if you can join them by using one of the methods described in Tyrone’s concern. be prepared for a 50% chance of acceptance, and a 50% chance of rejection. if you do get rejected, don’t take it personally.
- even if you are on a mailing list for events, you’ll need to have confirmation for a particular event before you just show up. if you think you can show up at a party just because you have the address and know the date, you may not only be kicked out, but also kicked off the invite list permanently.
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